Back to BeanieKids.com
Forum Home
Search
Members
Login
Join Fan Club
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
.
1 Hour
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
News
: Login to the BK Forum using your BK Fan Club username and password! If you're not a Fan Club member already,
click here
to sign-up.
Beanie Kids Forum
>
General Discussion
>
Creative Board
> Topic:
A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback (Read 97 times)
naomi0698
Ultimate Beanie
Offline
Posts: 3406
You're proud of me which is what keeps me going <3
A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
on:
April 01, 2011, 04:02:21 PM »
This is a story I'm writing. it's about someone who is in high school and gets bullied and everyone thinks she is a loser but when she finds out the truth everything changes. PLEASE DON'T COPY AND/OR USE AS YOUR OWN.
HERE IT IS:
Have you ever got the feeling that you don't belong where you are, that you are from another family, maybe even another planet, that you are different from everyone around you. Well, that's how I felt 3 months ago but now I am part of a happy family who doesn't want much in the world. You see my family and I only found out the truth in August. It's October now and I want nothing more in the world. I've seen a different side of everything and now people think of me differently, especially Louis.
I used to be a lonely teenager, with no friends, just bullies who didn't want anything besides seeing me hurt and weak, besided of course money, fame and perfect friends, family and boyfriends or girlfriends. I, on the other hand, loved nature and science and even maths and people just didn't appreciate that about me and thought that anyone who liked that stuff was a loser. I didn't care about shopping, or my looks, or clothes, or shoes or anything like that, I only concentrated on my grades and stuff that was actually important to me like helping people and animals out. Nobody turned to me for help, they rather fail than ask me, I was the loser of the school. Everyday somebody would walk past me and say "Hey Becky, is that the new fashion trend this week? Did they name it after you, Loser Becky?" or "Have you ever tried looking in the help section of a bookstore?" or sometimes they would just push me to the ground, knocking all of my books and papers out of my hands and leave me there to pick up everything and help myself up, they usually yell at me "Watch it, Becky, you could get expelled for that kind of behaviour!" and run down the hallway to get as far away from me while everyone else had finished collecting all their stuff from their lockers and stood there, laughing. Not once did I get helped up except from the principal but he would usually whisper to me "Becky, you should really be careful while walking down the hallway because next time you might really hurt yourself." There were these three really mean girls, the leader of them was Natalie and whenever that happened they would say "Maybe you should go back to wearing little kid shoes because you are not able to stay on your feet." and they would walk off laughing while everyone was enjoying the show and laughed even more. Twice I had lunch trown at me and both times it started a food fight and when our principal Mr Lavendille came in and demanded an explenation about it and who started it, all eyes and fingers went in my direction and both times I got detention and had to clean up the cafeteria, alone of course because I had no friends and no one wanted to give me a helping hand.
Logged
1_2_3_4_5
Beanie Legend
Offline
Posts: 1958
We dream for a Bella Generation!
Re: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
Reply #1 on:
April 01, 2011, 04:04:51 PM »
Thats awesome ♥
Logged
RIP Jordan and Donna Rice ♥ Forever in our hearts ♥
phoebestar909
Beanie Professor
Offline
Posts: 10813
Byebye! <3 Love ya all!
Re: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
Reply #2 on:
April 01, 2011, 06:30:02 PM »
Awesome
Logged
I'm leaving, I don't know when I'm coming back but the reason why I left because the fighting. Bye! <3 I may come here here and there but only a few minuets.
naomi0698
Ultimate Beanie
Offline
Posts: 3406
You're proud of me which is what keeps me going <3
Re: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
Reply #3 on:
June 10, 2011, 09:00:51 PM »
thanks
Logged
pooks123
Beginner Beanie
Offline
Posts: 20
Re: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
Reply #4 on:
June 27, 2011, 09:27:28 PM »
hi that was really sad and really good!! are you a writer or something or was that just of the top of ur head!!!
Logged
naomi0698
Ultimate Beanie
Offline
Posts: 3406
You're proud of me which is what keeps me going <3
Re: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
Reply #5 on:
December 07, 2011, 05:39:26 PM »
That is just from the top of my head
Logged
Gothgirl_6
Beanie Wizard
Offline
Posts: 27639
Taylor Swift, Harry Potter and The Vampire Diaires
Re: A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
«
Reply #6 on:
December 07, 2011, 05:47:34 PM »
OMG! You have to be a writer!
It's sad but does tell the truth about the side of the person who gets bullied.
Good job!
p.s. more!!!!
Logged
I love you Nessa. You are my RP sister forever!
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
Beanie Kids Forum
>
General Discussion
>
Creative Board
> Topic:
A story I'm writing, please give me some feedback
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
BK Forum
-----------------------------
=> Forum Rules, Guidelines & FAQ's
=> Website Problems & Help
=> Announcements
-----------------------------
General Discussion
-----------------------------
=> General Chat
===> Holiday Board
===> Welcome Room
===> Suggestion Box
===> Thank You's!
=> Creative Board
===> BK Fan Newspapers!
=> Forum Games and Roleplay
===> Quiz and Puzzle board
=> Signatures and Avatars
-----------------------------
Fan Club Hangout
-----------------------------
=> BK Valuations
=> BK Exchange
=> BK Games Talk
===> Game Suggestions
=> Competitions Chat
=> Your Beanie Collection
-----------------------------
Beanie Kids Events
-----------------------------
=> Events Past & Present
=> BK Birthdays
-----------------------------
Beanie Kids Corner
-----------------------------
=> New Releases
=> Beanie Kids
=> Cuddly Kids
=> Great Big Kids
=> Other Beanie Kids
=> Beanie Suggestion Box
-----------------------------
Special Releases
-----------------------------
=> Premier Exclusives
=> Limited Editions
=> Mutations
=> Retailer Exclusives
=> Redemption Bears
=> Show Bears
-----------------------------
BK Boyz Island
-----------------------------
=> BK Boyz Chat
=> Professor Lou Nee's Creations
Loading...