Writing Course.

[macca33]

No problem.

Do you PM it to you or do it here?

[Random_Peace]

<sub>Hmm..Yes, I would prefer if you could PM

Thanks Maddy.

- Peace -</sub>

[mojojojo]

PMed you my homework Theo. This is fun.

[Random_Peace]

<sub>Thanks Monique.

Great job, have sent you your results

- Peace -</sub>

[mojojojo]

 

[bkfan1000]

Name: Caitlin
Age: 11
Writing Experience: I write stories from time to time. They are never finished.
Notes: trolololol :/

[xXxStarWinxXx]

<sub>WEEK 1:

Change these sentences into bigger and more exciting sentences.

1. The man was sick. [The weary, old man was extremely ill and tired]
2. The ball was behind the gate.
3. The flower was blossoming.
4. The lake was cold.
5. He lost his book.

Than, choose one of your exciting sentences and include it in a 150 word,
or less enticing short story


------


Thanks, Monique and Maddy

- Peace -</sub>

Is that only for Monique and Maddy or all of us? Or has it already happened?

[mojojojo]

It is for everyone,he was saying thanks to us for joining.

[Smiggler99]

Name: Jess
Age: 11
Writing Experience: none - thats why I need some help
Notes: -

[mojojojo]

Name: Jess
Age: 11
Writing Experience: none - thats why I need some help
Notes: -

I am sure you have experience,school!

[mojojojo]

I felt like sharing my homework here But if Theo doesn't want it clogging up his topic I shall delete it .
1. The man was sick. [The weary, old man was extremely ill and tired]~The old and decrepid man was being overtaken by a brutal illness.
2. The ball was behind the gate.~The colourful beach ball had bounced over the grouchy neighbours gate and the ball was now behind it.
3. The flower was blossoming.~The velvety soft red rose delicately blossomed,gently and carefully stretching out it's silk like petals.
4. The lake was cold.~The rushing freshwater lake was as cold as a  rampaging hail storm,the bitter coldness of it numbed my skin.
5. He lost his book.~Much to his dismay,the young bookworm lost his Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone novel.

150 Word Story:(It is exactly 150 words btw)
The Lake:
Something in me made me venture outside to the lake…but what? The moon hung above me leaving a luminescent glow on the garden as I crept down the cobblestone footpath marveling at the beauty of nature at night. I could hear the lake’s familiar sounds of rushing water; I tiptoed off the footpath and down the bank to reach it. I cautiously poked a toe in the translucent water that reflected the moonlight. The rushing freshwater lake was as cold as a rampaging hail storm; the bitter coldness of it numbed my pale skin.  And yet I found myself wading knee-deep in the lake, trembling with cold but my body pushing me to go on….An alarm buzzed loudly in my ears, startling me;1 a.m? “That was a weird dream” I thought, crawling out of bed and then I realized... I was soaking wet! “Perhaps not a dream then…” a  voice whispered aloud……..

[xXxStarWinxXx]

It is for everyone,he was saying thanks to us for joining.

K thanks

[mojojojo]

K thanks

No problem

[xXxStarWinxXx]

I did 246 words. When i counted up to 150 words I didnt know how to end it.

[mojojojo]

Lol,I am sure Theo won't mind.

I did 246 words. When i counted up to 150 words I didnt know how to end it.

[xXxStarWinxXx]

Lol,I am sure Theo won't mind.

Lol, I hope

[bkfan1000]

I realized I haven't gone up on the list yet.

[macca33]

My homework wasn't that good but I guess I'll share- maybe I could get some tips?

WEEK 1:

1. The tired, old man lay in bed as he was ill.
2. The ball was behind the huge gate, it's bright red colour showing them it's exact location.
3. The majestic flower was blossoming, an amazing sight to behold.
4. The lake was frozen, a vast sea of ice.
5. He misplaced his book in the library, a huge wonderland of books.

The lake was frozen, a vast sea of ice.  As far as she could see there was crystal clear ice. She sat on the filthy park bench and tied her laces up. She crawled across the snow and stood up on the edge on the lake. She started ice skating, the process was a tricky one and each time she thought she was magnificent and tried a turn, it would fail. Nevertheless, she kept trying and by the end of the afternoon it was almost as if she was floating around, turning and jumping elegantly. The sun was setting, and what a magnificent sight it was too. It became dark all too soon and freezing, cold winds began to blow. She zoomed across the ice to the park bench, once again and took off her skates. She replaced them with sneakers and dashed home. What a lovely day she had.

[mojojojo]

Maddy,your sentences for Number 3 and 4 are really good. What I would suggest for you story,is don't overuse the word "she" as it makes the story seem repetitive . Other than that it was quite good.

[mojojojo]

I felt like sharing my homework here But if Theo doesn't want it clogging up his topic I shall delete it .
1. The man was sick. [The weary, old man was extremely ill and tired]~The old and decrepid man was being overtaken by a brutal illness.
2. The ball was behind the gate.~The colourful beach ball had bounced over the grouchy neighbours gate and the ball was now behind it.
3. The flower was blossoming.~The velvety soft red rose delicately blossomed,gently and carefully stretching out it's silk like petals.
4. The lake was cold.~The rushing freshwater lake was as cold as a  rampaging hail storm,the bitter coldness of it numbed my skin.
5. He lost his book.~Much to his dismay,the young bookworm lost his Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone novel.

150 Word Story:(It is exactly 150 words btw)
The Lake:
Something in me made me venture outside to the lake…but what? The moon hung above me leaving a luminescent glow on the garden as I crept down the cobblestone footpath marveling at the beauty of nature at night. I could hear the lake’s familiar sounds of rushing water; I tiptoed off the footpath and down the bank to reach it. I cautiously poked a toe in the translucent water that reflected the moonlight. The rushing freshwater lake was as cold as a rampaging hail storm; the bitter coldness of it numbed my pale skin.  And yet I found myself wading knee-deep in the lake, trembling with cold but my body pushing me to go on….An alarm buzzed loudly in my ears, startling me;1 a.m? “That was a weird dream” I thought, crawling out of bed and then I realized... I was soaking wet! “Perhaps not a dream then…” a  voice whispered aloud……..

[macca33]

Maddy,your sentences for Number 3 and 4 are really good. What I would suggest for you story,is don't overuse the word "she" as it makes the story seem repetitive . Other than that it was quite good.

Thanks, I'd say they were my best xD

I understand what you mean, I agree, I just didn't know what I should name the girl, and it would be sort of strange having a name in that type of writing.

[mojojojo]

Thanks, I'd say they were my best xD

I understand what you mean, I agree, I just didn't know what I should name the girl, and it would be sort of strange having a name in that type of writing.

It is hard when you don't have names but you could try using her more often instead of she,or the girl Or something. Repetition is a silly thing because it can make stories boring but it also can be used to give stories a great effect.

[macca33]

It is hard when you don't have names but you could try using her more often instead of she,or the girl Or something. Repetition is a silly thing because it can make stories boring but it also can be used to give stories a great effect.

Yeah.

[mojojojo]

Yeah.

Yeah. Such creative use of the English language.
I love writing,but unfortunately we don't really get to do creative writing at high school,mainly just boring writing.

[macca33]

Yeah. Such creative use of the English language.
I love writing,but unfortunately we don't really get to do creative writing at high school,mainly just boring writing.

Aw.