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Author Topic: Andy's first Story (Needs a title)  (Read 94 times)
Writer_Girl
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« on: October 28, 2011, 06:21:36 PM »

First story; and it needs a name. Would love your idea's (;



Chapter 1:

  I don't remember anything from my past, only little snips. It all blacked out after I died. When I had my 'rebirth' all I could remember was my name, age of death and how I died.
  My name is Sailor, my age of death was 16 and how I died was irrelevent.
  "Sailor, are you ready to leave?" Marco asked.
  I looked down to the earth.
  "Will these things hold my weight?" I asked, ignoring his earlier question. I gestured to the big fluffy white wings that were jutting out of my back.
  "Yes, silly." Marco smiled, and kissed my forehead.
  I cringed.
  "Ready to jump?" he asked, and held out his hand.
  I took his hand, for safety. I didn't trust my new wings.
  "On 3. One, two, three!"
  We were falling, together. I flapped my wings, and I slowed down. Marco did the same, and pulled me closer to him. I let him. He was my match. My heavenly husband. We were tied in an immortal bond made in heaven.
  We were very close to the earth now, maybe 100 meters up.
  "Where are we going?" I asked, muffled against his shoulder.
  "I have enroled you in a co-ed boarding school."
  We landed.
***

When I died, I entered a place called 'pre heaven'. Where you have for your match, and enter together. When Marco appeared, my heart went racing. I think the angels made everyone love who they were paired with. When we entered heaven, my feelings for Marco increased. I was head over heels inlove, and he was too.
  Marco and I were hand picked out of 10 couples who were alowed to enter earth again.
***



So; Title idea's and constructive critisism. BE HONEST. And can someone be my editor?

Love; Andy xx
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phoebestar909
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Byebye! <3 Love ya all!


« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2011, 06:36:14 PM »

Good story bru
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I'm leaving, I don't know when I'm coming back but the reason why I left because the fighting. Bye! <3 I may come here here and there but only a few minuets.
Writer_Girl
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« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2011, 06:37:02 PM »

Thanks bru (;
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PuppyLuv
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« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2011, 06:40:18 PM »

I actually liked even the first sentence.
Already.
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Writer_Girl
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« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2011, 05:33:20 PM »

Thanks (:
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Tuala_94
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:)
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2011, 05:38:35 PM »

I like it. Smiley but where you wrote pre-heaven, you may want to change it to Limbo. But that's just my suggestion.
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Writer_Girl
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« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2011, 05:39:48 PM »

Thanks for the tip (:
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Tuala_94
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:)
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2011, 05:40:01 PM »

Also, if you want, next week when I have access to a computer, I can be your editor? :p
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Writer_Girl
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« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2011, 05:54:51 PM »

Legend. Sure !
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bubblefairy
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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!


« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2011, 08:17:27 PM »

I liked it.
could I suggest the name 'Rebirth' for your title?
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Kelly Clarkson RULES!!!!!
Writer_Girl
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« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2011, 07:03:28 AM »

Thanks, and sure ! Thats a great name.
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