Beanie Kids Forum - My Story - feedback wanted

Hi Guys,

This is my story............ I'll do this :............ when I need a name.

………………. .( Title )

Chapter 1; The Email

There I was on my mother’s laptop when an email came through. I quickly typed my information to get on my emails and there it was an email saying I won a position to go on ………. Island. I thought through my head trying to remember when I entered this competition. Then I realized that I entered a Survival Camp. I reached to my mobile at the end of my desk and dialed mum’s mobile number. She didn’t answer so I called her work. Surprisingly my mother answered and said politely “My name is Diiane, how can I help you today?”
“Hi Diiane” I said cheekily with a grin on my face. My mother knew who it was straight away, I couldn’t fool her. She started speaking very fast in an excited voice “I have got a new job, I am now the receptionist!” Once I could get a word in I told her my exciting news “Mum, I got on the survival camp and it is a television show!”
“Oh my gosh ………., that’s great honey but I have to go now, see you soon”. Then she hung up. I was so proud of myself and so was my mother. I was so excited I wanted to pack. So I stood up and walked to my bedroom door. I twisted the door knob and ran into my mother’s bedroom to find my suitcase. I looked through the cupboards and finally found it on top of a tall shelf. It was a large case with a beautiful shade of purple. So I grabbed my suitcase and rolled it to my bedroom floor. It was light as it had nothing in the case but when I got in my room I said to myself “lets get packing”. So I packed my bag full of things I thought I might need for the island. After it was fully packed I rolled it to the Lounge room so it would be there in the morning. After a while I lied on the sofa and watched a movie called Romeo and Juliet. In the middle of the movie I started to get drowsy so I softly let my eyes closed.

Chapter 2; The Journey

When I woke up the next morning I found myself on the sofa. I thought about last night and remembered I watched the movie Romeo and Juliet. I closed my eyes again so I could get some more rest. I felt someone kiss me on my forehead and said quietly “Time to go sweetie” When she walked away I slowly opened my eyes again. I looked at the time and jumped up. I just caught my eye on my mother walking down the stairs. So I shouted “Mum, I’m getting dressed, wait for me!!” I rushed to my bedroom and quickly put on some comfortable clothes for the trip. I quickly said “Goodbye my room” and rapidly ran out of my bedroom and grabbed my bags. I carried my bags down stairs quickly so I wouldn’t keep my mum waiting. I ran past my mum and into the garage. As I walked to the car with my bags I heard a loud noise. I stopped for a while and heard it again. First I ignored the loud sound but then I saw a huge pile of timber crashing down. I heard my mum screaming and shouting but it wasn’t enough to move myself. Then I collapsed to the floor with a huge bang. I started to cry and yell “Help, get me out of here!!” All my memories started coming through my head. I remember when I was three playing horses with my dad, my mum making some cake for my party and me feeling sick after I ate half of the icing. I chuckled a bit and remembered all the good times. I even had some sad memories like when my dad had collapsed in front of my little eyes when I was nine. I started to sniff and then it turned into two little droplets from my eyes. I started to panic when I heard sirens of the ambulance. I heard them get out of their vehicles and discussing about what they are going to do. “Okay Guys, we lift the timber off…..” He trailed off. One guy called Troy was even asking my mother “How and when did this happen?”
“Well I was walking down the stairs and ……. Rushed past me to get in the car but when she got in the garage she just stood there and listened to the sound of the timber falling down. Then she collapsed to the floor and with the timber all over her.” Troy was nodding and walked over to the other guys and told them what happened. After they finished discussing they ran to where I was. I felt them move planks of timber off me as I had been squashed to the ground. When all the timber was moved off me two guys picked me up and put me on stretcher. Two other men lifted the stretcher with me on it into the van. My mother got in the ambulance with me. She was sobbing and hugging me as if I was dead the whole way to the hospital.
When we got to the hospital they got me on a wheelie bed and pushed me to an empty room. When everyone got in the room a Doctor named Doctor Higins came in. He Quietly said “All ambulance crew can you leave the room please” The crew did what they were told and walked out with a couple of whispers to each other. When we were alone Doctor Higins said “Here, have a chair” He passed my mother a chair. She quietly took the chair from his hands and sat on it. She reached out her hand to hold my hand, I toke her hand in return and squeezed it tight.

Thats all I'll write on here today.
What do you think............please look in poll.

Madi