NAME UNKNOWN! More chapters coming soon!

[Rani_B_Bear]

NAME UNKNOWN- Chapter 1!
Killi Mason went to school today, thinking that she'd be having a normal day of Maths, English, Sport and Lunch.
But she was so wrong...
Killi walked into Maths hoping to find her friend Mandi sitting at their usual spot- the front of the class-closest to their amazingly lovely teacher, Mrs Grey who was beautiful, cheerful and helpful. Killi saw Mandi and sat down next to her.
"Hey Mandi. Is your 'puter working yet?" Killi asked breezily, refering to last night on the 'phone how Mandi had complained about her down computer. Mrs Grey wasnt in yet, so class hadnt started. Mandi stared over at Killi and glowered at her.
"What is your problem???" She hissed at the now- confounded Killi. what did I do? What happened? Killi thought. She was so stunned that she didnt speak to Mandi again after that. Mrs Grey walked in and sat at her desk without one word. Still saying nothing, Mrs Grey set out math questions. doesn't she feel well? Maybe she caught something from Mandi... Killi thought. Then her teacher sat down and wrote in her files for a while. Killi stared at her. Mrs Grey reared her head with a mighty scowl and growled,"What are you staring at child? Class! Do I have toothpaste all over me? Hm? Tell me, Why are you staring at me?".Killi gasped internally and shook her head, slight tears coming to her eyes, and kept her head down for the rest of the lesson.

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Ill write more later!!

constructive criticism accepted, but dont be mean. Not just to me, either.
Thanks!

[deanne]

editing and spelling corrections in red.

NAME UNKNOWN- Chapter 1!
Killi do you mean Kylee? Cuz I first read that name as "Kill Mason"Mason went to school today, thinking that she'd be having a normal day of Maths, English, Sport and Lunch.
But she was so wrong...
maybe that top part would be better as the blurb rather than part of the story.
Killi walked into Maths hoping to find her friend Mandi. She looked around, and saw Mandi sitting at their usual spot- the front of the class-closest to their amazingly lovely teacher, Mrs Grey who was beautiful, cheerful and helpful. Killi went over to Mandi Mandi and sat down next to her.
"Hey Mandi. Is your 'puter working yet?" Killi asked breezily, refering to last night on the ' phone how Mandi had complained about her down broken computer. Mrs Grey wasnt in yet, so class hadnt started. Mandi stared over at Killi and glowered at her.
"What is your problem???" She hissed at the now- confounded do you mean confused? Killi. what did I do? What happened? Killi thought. She was so stunned that she didnt speak to Mandi again after that.
space Mrs Grey walked in and sat at her desk without one a single word would sound better. word. Still saying nothing, Mrs Grey set out math questions. 'wrote out the maths questions' would sound better.
space. doesn't she feel well? Maybe she caught something from Mandi... Killi thought. i do not get the part i put in green. 

Then her teacher sat down and wrote in her files for a while. Killi stared at her. Mrs Grey reared her head with a mighty scowl and growled,"What are you staring at child? Class! Do I have toothpaste all over me? Hm? Tell me, Why are you staring at me?"rofl! love that part!.Killi gasped internally and shook her head, slight tears coming to her eyes, and kept her head down for the rest of the lesson.

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Overall, quite enjoyable!
Just a few grammatical errors, but thats all.

[Tess96]

Yep, agreed with Dee.

[deanne]

Lolz.

You always do. 

[Rani_B_Bear]

Lol! Thanks, p.s Confounded is a word, and yes, it is Killi, though it does seem to be Kylee.
thankyou! write mor elater, promise.

[fubble]

awsome story 

[deanne]

Lol! Thanks, p.s Confounded is a word, and yes, it is Killi, though it does seem to be Kylee.
thankyou! write mor elater, promise.

Okay.

Also, instead of confounded I'd say use, "bewildered; confused or perplexed."