A quick story

[002560]

I'm breathing hard, I can hear footsteps coming.  I'm behind a tree there is no way out because if I run he will see me amd if he sees me I am dead, he has a gun.  My older evil Stepbrother is after me all becasue of soemthing that I did to him 10 years ago.  When my mother and his father gpt married his father adored me like a real daughter and he always got left out like he was nothing.  He was coming after me the foot steps were getting closer then the gun was 5 centimetres from face I close my eyes there was cold laughter then there was a bang and I was dead.


It is not that good but I tried my best.

[naomi0698]

It is good but a little weird

[LauraKeet]

Whoa,,

That was a very short story xDD

haha, odd ending :]


you should make this story a bit longer, by adding more of an introduction to the characters,

[Bucky]

hmmm... good but... your writing in a first persons point of veiw and... they are dead so i think you should change it to 2 person.

[Qween5647]

it's kinda scary..and a bit random how she can tell that she's dead.
I agree with bucky with the 2 person POV

[naomi0698]

you should at more

[_Awkward]

It'd be better with more of an introduction and what happened. It'd also be better in 3rd person.

[naomi0698]

And maybe a different ending